These sex positions are super-hot for spending Valentine’s Day with your man.You don’t have to swing in on a trapeze carrying a whip and a gag ball to make Valentine’s Day memorably sexy. In fact, fantastic sex is not at all as complicated as you may imagine. Intimacy is as simple as eye contact, skin contact and communication. Of course, if you’d like to get a little freaky and try something different, there are ways to spice things up. We asked sex experts for five positions for hetero partners to try on Valentine’s Day.First of all, before you go racing into the bedroom wearing nipple tassels and screaming, “Come and get me!” there are a few things you should consider. The first is that, while you’re all geared up and ready, your partner may not be quite on the same page.According to COSRT accredited psychosexual therapist, and coauthor of the Orgasm Answer Guide, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh managing expectations is critical to a successful sexual experience.“Often the things we do on Valentine’s Day — from a romantic dinner to going to see a movie — are building up to the great sex you’ll have at the end. There’s so much emphasis on the sexual evolution that the poor guy can build up performance anxiety,” she says. “So a good approach is to focus on the connection that the two of you have, rather than the inevitable ending.”Set the scene“Setting the mood and stimulating all of the senses (sight, sound, smell, touch and taste) enhances the experience,” says sex and relationship coach Uta Demontis. She suggests couples play with music, lighting, aromatic oils or incense and even food to set things to a steamy high.“Music is a fantastic tool to help create mood for love making,” agrees award-winning sex worker and sex coach Charlotte Rose, “[but] don’t forget lighting. Candles and low lights are just as important. Some partners don’t like to have sex with strong lights on so making it dim may give you more confidence to try a different position or even wear something out of the ordinary to surprise your partner.”However be sure the elements you choose are authentic to your relationship. According to Dr. Nasserzadeh, if you use them because you’re trying to emulate an image in a magazine, or an idea of what a sexy night should be, they can form a distraction.Fool aroundThe seduction begins long before you enter the bedroom. In a way the whole of Valentine’s Day — from the first kiss hello to dinner — is a way to romance your partner. But once you eventually get undressed make sure you don’t jump straight into doing the dirty.“Foreplay is essential,” says Demontis. “It helps to get [you] into the mood. Also, it’s important that all of her (and his) body is being caressed, so that sex is not too genitally-focused but rather the whole body is engaged.”“Foreplay should never be rushed,” adds Rose, “take time to enjoy the journey of sexual exploration of your partner’s body.”1. Heavenly scissorsHow it’s done: Both partners lie on their side with their heads near the other’s feet. He slips his lower leg under her lower leg, his upper leg between her legs and moves his pelvis towards her until he can penetrate her.How to make it sensational: Ensure you’re both clean from head to toe and communicate about what feels good. Use your hands to caress and nibble unexpected parts of the body.Why it’s great: “This side-to-side sex position is great for intimate sex, for keeping eye contact and having a great view of your partner,” says Demontis.2. Sexy spoons“The skin is the largest organ of the body, so sexual positions with more skin-to-skin-connection between the couple are very intimate,” agrees Dr. Nasserzadeh.“Spooning can be a lovely morning position to wake up to together. Most men wake being aroused and in this position he can gently wake her with stimulation with his hand, whilst giving gentle kisses around the nape of her neck and shoulders. He is also able to fondle her breasts and stroke her body,” adds Rose.How it’s done: Both partners lie on their side facing the same way with him cradling (or “spooning”) her from behind as he penetrates her.How to make it sensational: Be gentle and soft and try to get as much skin-on-skin contact as possible. Don’t neglect the earlobes.Why it’s great: “As there is full body contact, it is a physically very intimate position,” says Demontis.3. Reverse cowgirl“[The woman gives] her partner a display of her behind whilst also achieving a different sensation of depth for herself,” adds Rose.How it’s done: He is lying down. She’s on top, straddling him in a kneeling or squatting position, facing his feet.How to make it sensational: Ask your man to sit up slightly and hold you for additional stability and skin contact. Use your hands to touch and play with his balls and thighs while he touches your breasts and stimulates your clitoris.Why it’s great: “In this position [the woman] controls the speed, pace, angle and depth of penetration. It’s also a great position for stimulating her g-spot,” says Demontis.4. Legs on shouldersHow it’s done: He kneels between her legs; she lies on her back and places her heels or knees on his shoulders.How to make it sensational: Use a cushion underneath your buttocks to support and raise your pelvis and adjust the angle at which you’re being stimulated. Keep eye contact and don’t forget to touch and play not only with him but also yourself.Why it’s great: “When you’re face-to-face, first of all you can kiss and you have eye contact, so you can stare at each other and know you’re in this together,” says Dr. Nasserzadeh. “It also gives you access to each others’ bodies, because your hands are in front of you. You can touch each other and whisper loving words.”“In this position, he can touch her everywhere,” agrees Demontis and adds, “through using a cushion to adjust the angle of penetration, she can be stimulated deep inside.”“A different feeling of depth can be achieved whilst [the woman] can also stimulate herself at the same time,” adds Rose.5. Yab yumHow it’s done: He sits cross-legged; she sits in his lap and wraps her legs around his waist. The soles of her feet touch. Their arms are wrapped around each other.How to make it sensational: Place a pillow under your buttocks if you need the additional support or to achieve a different angle. This is a Tantric position so don’t rush and be as physical as possible.Why it’s great: “The partners can keep eye contact, kiss and caress each other. This position allows for a deep connection and for an extended sexual experience,” says Demontis.“The couple can rock their bodies together while holding each other, this is a very intimate position,” says Dr. Nasserzadeh. 6. Keep it simple (missionary)While trying new positions can be a lot of fun and inject a new sexual energy into your relationship sometimes nothing beats the classics. The truth is that exciting sex has less to do with how you can twist and bend and more with the connection you make.How it’s done: She lies on her back with her legs apart. He lies on top, between her legs, with his forearms underneath her arms.How to make it sensational: Start slow and build up speed and momentum, focusing on your rhythm and breathing for ultimate pleasure.Why it’s great: Eye and skin contact remain the main vehicles for pleasure, which is why the missionary remains the most common and popular position. According to Dr. Nasserzadeh, most couples in long-term relationships will use the missionary position (sometimes with variations) 90 percent of the time. So the only thing you need to ensure is that you’re doing it right.“It is one of the top positions for connectivity. You are able to still kiss and have the most skin to skin contact,” says Rose.Source
It can be easy to dismiss Valentine’s day as nothing more than an advertising opportunity for big commercial brands but, actually, there’s a lot to be said for taking some time to show your partner how much you appreciate them – and it doesn’t have to cost a penny.Here, psychotherapist, life coach and couple’s counsellor Hilda Burke talks to us about the simple yet oh-so-effective ways you can show love, and what they could do for your relationship.1. SpontaneityFalling in love means to act without thinking in advance – in other words, to act spontaneously. If we thought about it in advance deeply and logically, would many of us even be in relationships? Hilda says:‘The odds are often stacked against many of our relationships- polar interests, differing political opinions, intolerance of each other’s friends and family – not to mention wildly different ideals on where to holiday – and yet we persist!’She adds:‘I think spontaneity helps remind us of the feelings we had when we initially fell for our partner. So, if we want to stay in love, keeping spontaneity in the mix is vital. Unfortunately, it’s a quality that many of us let slip once when we settle into a relationship. Routine and complacency are the arch enemies of spontaneity.’Why it’s important: When we engage in something spontaneously we haven’t invested time in mentally assessing what we think the outcome of the chosen activity will be. Losing our heads in this way (together) can free us up to re-connect with our partner in a more physical and emotional way that perhaps re-ignites the spark that was there in the early days.Make it happen: For a truly spontaneous idea, try arranging something romantic and surprising for your partner – either on Valentine’s day or at any other time of the year!2. Paying attention to your partnerThe most flattering thing in the world is to have someone’s undivided attention. However, since most of us are constantly within earshot and arm’s reach of an array of bleeping, buzzing digital devices, it’s becoming an ever-rarer commodity. Hilda advises:‘Focusing 100% on your partner when you are with them is a serious investment in your relationship and one that can reap dividends. When people complain that they don’t really know what to do to make their partner happy, that they cannot seem to do anything right – I say to them “just listen!” To simply listen with an open heart, to listen for the purpose of learning more about our partner.’Why it’s important: Focusing on our partner when we’re with them reassures them that they matter to us. It also gives clues on what’s really important to them, the little things that make them happy or unhappy. If you want a relationship to flourish, it’s essential that you need to create space and time to focus fully on your partner.Make it happen: On a regular basis, make a date with your partner that’s simply about receiving what they want to say – for many of us this will be challenging, and we may need to build up to it! So, perhaps start with just 15 minutes to build up your listening muscle gradually over time.3. Appreciate the positiveMany of us automatically focus on what’s wrong in our relationship, what’s lacking, or what we’d like to change about our partner. Hilda says:‘While it can be useful to acknowledge the things that aren’t working satisfactorily in the relationship and take steps to address that (and this will require work typically on both sides), it can often distract us from what is working, the positive things that our partner does do for us.’She adds: ‘Often when I work with clients to really recognise the efforts their partner makes on their behalf, it’ll be met with “but they should do that anyway, I shouldn’t need to thank them / tell them I’m grateful.” Often what’s getting in the way here is ego – by showing our gratitude we let our guard down.”Why it’s important: When we show our appreciation, it reinforces our partner’s feeling that the efforts they make are recognised and they’ll be inclined to do more rather than becoming complacent, which I think is what many of us fear will happen when we praise our other halves.Make it happen: Take time to reflect on what you appreciate in your partner, whether that’s something as simple as bringing you breakfast in bed, sorting out the bills or picking you up after a night out. Most of us have ideals of how we’d like our partner to be and it’s easy to get trapped into just noticing how they fail to live up to those ideals. Show appreciation for what you do like, even the little things.4. Put your relationship first… Especially if you have a familyThere’s no doubt that having children will change the dynamics of any relationship and, Hilda says, things don’t always turn out the way we hope.‘Lots of couples I work with identify the point they started their family as the point at which they drifted apart. They felt that the ‘right’ thing to do was to put the kids first. However, it’s even more important that a couple continue to make time for each other after they have kids.’Why it’s important: Kids will grow up, become independent and leave – the parents’ role is to support them in that. By investing everything in the kids and nothing in each other, it can lead to a very hollow relationship – one that’s unlikely to endure beyond child raising.Make it happen: Make time for each other and arrange regular dates. Whether that’s on Valentine’s Day or not, it’s important to invest time in each other without the children.
Kim Kardashian West has never been shy about her skincare routine. From vampire facials to lasers, the star has tried it all, and she visits her plastic surgeon, Dr. Simon Ourian, frequently. And now, the new mother-of-three is opening up about the laser treatment she swears by — not just on her face, but on her body as well.“For all-over skin radiance, especially on my face, Dr. Ourian uses his Coolaser treatment,” she says on her website. The treatment, which is said to reduce the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, sun damage, uneven skin pigmentation, scarring and stretch marks, can cost an average of $4,000. “It honestly does it all,” she adds.But Kardashian isn’t just focused on the skin on her face. After her first pregnancy with daughter North West, the star says she was bothered by stretch marks from breastfeeding — so she targeted the area with laser as well.“After breastfeeding North, I wasn’t happy with the stretch marks on my boobs, so I had the area Coolbeam lasered by Dr. Ourian. It made SUCH a difference,” she shares. “The Coolbeam lasers are the best for removing scars, stretch marks and skin imperfections”And for Kardashian, who has been baring her abs on a regular basis, daily workouts aren’t the only secret to her tight abs.“I love ultrasound radio frequency, or USRF, for skin tightening,” Kim explains of the treatment, which can cost upwards of $600 per visit. “USRF uses ultrasound energy to increase collagen production, and to lift and tighten the skin. I’ve done these treatments on my neck, hands and stomach, but it can also be done on other areas of the body.”One of her biggest post-baby problem areas, she says, was her belly button. “Anyone who has had kids understands what pregnancy will do to your belly button—getting an ultrasound treatment on my stomach just totally tightened the area up.”
Can these foods boost your libido?Many humans enjoy sex and as a result have long turned to different foods to help get themselves — and their partners — in the mood. Pop culture tells us foods like oysters and chocolate are supposed to make us feel sexy, but is there any truth — or science — to that? Or does it even matter? (If something you eat makes you feel more amorous, does it really make a difference why?)OystersIf you asked someone to name an aphrodisiac food, chances are they’ll go with oysters first. This makes sense given how long the association between this bivalve and sex has been around. According to legend (and Drs. Cristian Bosch and John A. Robinson of The Hormone Zone), Casanova and Cleopatra were fans of this quintessential libido kick-starter. Not only that, but oysters are also anthropomorphic, as they visually remind us of sex, mimicking the shape of the vulva and vagina, Bosch and Robinson add.As far as the science, Bosch and Robinson say oysters contain B12 and potassium, as well as an abundance of zinc, which is essential for testosterone production for both men and women.“Food should tantalize and invigorate the senses, and that is exactly what [an oyster] does when it is swallowed,” they note.Can you expect an immediate boost immediately after ingestion? Not likely, says Kim Anami, holistic sex and relationship expert and founder of the Anami Alchemia sexual wellness product line. But that doesn’t mean the texture of the oyster itself won’t get you in the mood.ChocolateAside from oversize drugstore teddy bears and generic greeting cards, chocolates are another Valentine’s Day staple. But is it simply a near-universally acceptable gift, or does it go deeper than that?“Chocolate increases a hormone called PEA [phenylethylamine] that is directly associated with experiences of ecstasy, just like sex and orgasm,” Bosch and Robinson explain. “Dark chocolate also increases dopamine, another feel-good hormone that keeps us positive and happy, all leading to increased libido and sexual satisfaction. Form follows function, and as these substances are imbibed, our physiology shifts towards sexual desire and performance.”And no, not all chocolate is created equal. Dark chocolate is best for reaping any health benefits because it’s higher in PEA and lower in sugar. Not only is the decreased amount of sugar better for you, but, according to Bosch and Robinson, sugar is counterproductive to peak sexual performance.Chili peppersEating this spicy phallic food has also long been associated with increased sex drive. Bosch and Robinson say this is thanks to an active ingredient called capsaicin, which causes blood vessel dilation and increased blood flow.“Capsaicin also causes the brain to release the feel-good chemicals known as endorphins,” they add. “All of this leads to an external appearance of sexual desire, such as flushed skin, swollen lips and dilated pupils and of course increased blood supply for penile erections and clitoral engorgement. This stimulates your own desire, [and] signals to your partner that you are ready.”WatermelonNot only would watermelon make a great post-coital food (hello, rehydration), Anami says it can also act as an aphrodisiac. The fruit is high in the amino acid citrulline, which expands blood vessels much like Viagra does, she notes, but it’s unclear exactly how much a person would have to eat to feel the effects.CoffeeAmy Reiley, author of best-selling aphrodisiac cookbook Eat Cake Naked and editorial director of Eat Something Sexy notes that some aphrodisiac foods work because they contain stimulants. That makes coffee one of her personal favorites because it acts as a mood enhancer as well as a stimulant, which could make your time in the bedroom more enjoyable and possibly longer-lasting.TrufflesOther foods are considered sensual because of their scent. Truffles — the fungi, not the decadent chocolates — fall into that category (although the scent of chocolate truffles could certainly be sexy too). Reiley says truffles are recommended as being particularly effective for women because their aroma resembles that of the male pheromone androstenone.Aphrodisiac herbs & spicesAccording to Anami, your best bet is aphrodisiac herbs, which she says are more concentrated in their potency. Some examples include maca, saffron, yohimbe and ginseng, which she says do everything, increasing things like libido, erectile strength, orgasmic potential and hormonal production.In addition, clove, cinnamon and nutmeg — known as the “warming spices” — raise body temperatures, supposedly to the point at which it encourages people about to engage in sexual activity to remove their clothes, Reiley says.At the end of the day (or meal), no food affects everyone in the same way. Feeding oysters to someone allergic to seafood, for example, may result in the night ending in a hospital bed than your bed. And contrary to popular belief, not everyone likes chocolate. But, depending on the person and situation, certain foods can be a fun addition to your romantic plans.Source
According to a new study, yogurt intake is linked to lower cardiovascular disease risk among hypertensive men and women.Many previous studies demonstrated beneficial effects of dairy products consumption on cardiovascular health. But the latest one suggests that the yogurt specifically have a significant impact on cardiovascular disease risk.According to an estimate, almost billion of people have the risk of higher blood pressure, a major cardiovascular disease risk factor. Higher dairy product intake has been related to helpful impacts on cardiovascular malady related comorbidities, for example, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and insulin protection.The study involved 55,000 women (ages 30-55) with high blood pressure from the Nurses’ Health Study and 18,000 men (ages 40-75). They then asked to complete a questionnaire to report usual dietary intake in the preceding year.Members along these lines revealed any between time doctor analyzed occasions including myocardial dead tissue, stroke, and revascularization. Consent was asked for to get to restorative records to affirm all revealed new findings.Higher admissions of yogurt were related to a 30 percent lessening in danger of myocardial dead tissue among the Nurses’ Health Study ladies and a 19 percent decrease in the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study men.There were 3,300 and 2,148 aggregate cardiovascular sickness cases (myocardial dead tissue, stroke, and revascularization) in the Nurses’ Health Study and the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study, separately. Higher yogurt allows in ladies was related to a 16 percent bring down the danger of experiencing revascularization.In the two gatherings, members expending more than two servings every seven day stretch of yogurt had a roughly 20 percent bring down dangers of real coronary illness or stroke amid the subsequent period. At the point when revascularization was added to the aggregate cardiovascular sickness result variable, the hazard gauges were decreased for the two men and ladies, however, stayed critical.One of the paper’s authors, Justin Buendia said, “We hypothesized that long-term yogurt intake might reduce the risk of cardiovascular problems since some previous small studies had shown beneficial effects of fermented dairy products. Here, we had a very large cohort of hypertensive men and women, who were followed for up to 30 years. Our results provide important new evidence that yogurt may benefit heart health alone or as a consistent part of a diet rich in fiber-rich fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.”The paper, “Regular Yogurt Intake and Risk of Cardiovascular Disease Among Hypertensive Adults” can be read here.
Vintage transportation inspired a classic boys’ theme to give this room a hot-rod attitude.A Scheme to GrowThe toughest task when it comes to creating a cozy kids room is choosing a theme and a color scheme that will last for many years to come. This bold room, in primary colors, meets the challenge with its vintage cars and planes theme.Perfect Boy ThemeTransportation is a perfect theme for any little boy who loves things that move. The sophisticated color palette and artwork possibilities are perfect for parents who don’t want to redecorate two years down the road.Window FocusStriped Roman shades set the red, navy, white, and green color scheme; the fabric’s deep tones really pop against the white wainscoting and built-ins. An energetic band of stripes around the walls completes the space and can be easily painted over as tastes change.Must-Have ToysAccessories support the room’s theme, especially replicas of antique toys. Vintage posters are a classy addition to the space. The room’s more juvenile accessories, such as stuffed animals, picture books, and toy trucks and trains, can easily be removed as the resident grows, but the bold color scheme has staying power.Must-Have ToysA comfy reading nook with a fire-engine red chair is the perfect spot for bedtime stories and snuggles.Do-it-yourself StripesA band of stripes is an easy do-it-yourself project that adds a personal touch. Master these simple steps to get the look:1. Mark the area to be painted with removable painter’s tape.2. Paint this section the base color of the band (the thinner stripes will be painted over it). In this room, for example, the green stripe was painted first.3. Once dry, use different widths of painter’s tape to mask off the other stripes. You’ll need to do this in stages because you cannot mask all the stripes off without blocking some areas with the tape.4. Brush decorator’s glaze over the edges of the tape to keep the paint from bleeding under the tape and ruining the stripes.5. Paint the stripe, slightly overlapping the tape; let dry. Repeat until all the stripes have been painted.6. Carefully remove the tape. If the tape starts to pull up the paint, use a blow dryer to warm the adhesive as you carefully remove the tape.Source
Flowers and chocolate used to be the best options for men angling for a night of passion.But there’s another way to put the spark back into their love life – giving their partner’s ankle a little electric shock.Doctors have discovered a key nerve in women’s bodies that can heighten their desires.It runs from the soles of the feet to the bottom of the spine, but is most easily accessible at the ankle, where it can be zapped with electricity. Women given a small electric shock there with a tiny needle experience no more than a mild tingling sensation.However it has been found to also boost blood supply – apparently acting like a female version of Viagra. Doctors pioneering the therapy believe that it could help women whose sex lives may have lost their drive.Tested on laboratory rats, it improved the blood flow of most within 25 minutes, and American researchers are now giving volunteer women a three-month course of weekly treatments lasting half an hour.Tim Bruns, a biomedical engineering expert who is leading the research at the University of Michigan, said: ‘We are really hopeful this could help many women who suffer with sexual dysfunction.‘Some studies say 10 per cent of adult women have arousal disorder but others report it’s as high as 28 per cent.’Scientists became interested in the ankle therapy after women having it to cure bladder problems also reported improvements in their sex lives.Many said they were more interested in sex. This may be because the tibial nerve running through the ankle meets the nerves which supply the pelvis within the spinal cord.A zap to the ankle may therefore boost blood flow to a more intimate area, creating the same effect as a night of passion. It offers an alternative to drugs, which have mixed results and can have side-effects. The research on rats, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, showed three out of four saw significant improvements in blood flow.The same US researchers are running a trial on 30 women with so-called arousal disorder.The results are expected to be released later this year.Professor Bruns said: ‘If the stimulation is repeated multiple times, it could lead to better blood flow and stronger nerve connections to the genitalia. This would improve the symptoms of genital arousal disorder.’Up to 45 per cent of women are believed to have a dysfunction that lowers their sex drive. Source
The gut is often coined as ‘the gateway to the body’ and as such, it is extremely important to ensure it is well looked after for optimum health and wellbeing.A growing number health experts and practitioners are now exploring the notion that individuals have a different gut types which ultimately determines how we react to food. Naturopathic nutritionist Julie Haigh explores the five different gut types proposed, and how you might be able to alleviate the painful, associated symptoms.Candida Gut‘Candida is a type of yeast which resides in the upper intestine, alongside other gut bacteria. If present in moderate levels, candida contributes to healthy gut functioning, however, in some circumstances, such as during antibiotic treatment or a poor diet, high in processed sugars and fats, candida will take the opportunity to grow and multiply.‘Symptoms include unexpected weight gain, loose stools, and brain fog. There are many ways you can counteract a candida gut; I recommend trying the Candida Diet Foods plan which is based on the 5R plan; removing offending foods, replacing digestive support, replenishing with nutrition and repopulating gut bacteria, repairing leaky gut and rebalancing lifestyle, stress and diet issues. Along with diet and lifestyle recommendations, Candida Diet Foods also has a whole host of healthy candida friendly recipes and meal plans to follow, helping you on your journey to improved wellbeing.’Source
Doctors diagnose mental illnesses by looking at symptoms. The right diagnosis is critical because it points you to the right treatment, but psychiatric diagnoses can be tricky.Symptoms of different mental disorders–like major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, and postpartum depression, to name a few–often overlap, and disorders frequently occur together.“Seeing a pure syndrome–in which the patient only shows the symptoms of one disorder without any symptoms of another–is pretty rare,” says Charles Nemeroff, MD, PhD, chairman of the University of Miami Health System’s department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences. One of the best examples of this, he says, is the overlap of anxiety disorders and depression. “Most people who are depressed are also anxious,” he says.Research is now showing how much these conditions share in terms of genetics too, which means another aspect of pinpointing a mental health diagnosis is understanding a person’s family history. “These disorders are largely genetically driven, so they run in families, and that’s important to know,” Dr. Nemeroff says.Having just one symptom on this list doesn’t necessarily mean you have a mental illness. There’s almost always more than one sign, and a psychiatrist making a diagnosis will take all of them into account. “We look at each of the symptoms and [how] they hang together,” Dr. Nemeroff says.Only a trained specialist can make a definitive diagnosis, and different mental illnesses are characterized by different symptoms. But there are certain common warning signs to look out for in general. Typically, you’re looking for several of these symptoms that occur together–and for changes in behavior.Withdrawal and apathyRetreating into yourself and avoiding hanging out with friends or participating in social activities could be a sign of depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, and more mental health concerns.“The [person] is not being as interactive, maybe staying at home in their room more,” says Anita Everett, MD, president of the American Psychiatric Association.That’s not to say that taking a little “me time” is a bad thing. Spending time alone can be an act of self care, but a loss of interest in the activities you once enjoyed could be a warning sign. As with most symptoms of mental illness, this isolation often represents a departure from past behavior, Dr. Everett says.Emotional outburstsAt the opposite end of the spectrum from the quiet of withdrawal and apathy are what Dr. Everett calls “loud” features of mental illness. “These can be more in your face,” she says. “People are more irritable, more animated.”Someone in the manic phase of bipolar disorder might be super-gregarious, talking very rapidly, or spending lots of money. A person with schizophrenia might be visibly distressed if they think they are being followed or spied on.Problems with thinkingIn depression, this could mean trouble focusing and remembering things. You may feel muddled trying to coordinate routine tasks, or you may feel more indecisive than usual.Similar problems with memory and concentration can occur with schizophrenia, along with difficulty solving problems and slower reaction times.Other mental illnesses have similar and distinct cognitive problems and, not surprisingly, these issues can affect day-to-day functioning. This could be pronounced, such as problems at school or work, or more subtle, like difficulty navigating bills and appointments.Cognitive problems can lead to some of the changes that may signal a mental illness: absenteeism from school, dropping grades, missing work. “All of these dramatic changes are warning signs,” Dr. Nemeroff says.Trouble sleepingUp to 80% of people with a mental illness have problems with sleep. It’s especially notable in different anxiety disorders, depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and bipolar disorder.It could mean sleeping too much or too little, tossing and turning, or waking up a lot during the night–and the disturbances can affect treatment.There’s also a chicken-or-egg aspect: Sleep disorders sometimes up your risk of developing a mental illness.Everyone can benefit from a good night’s sleep. For most people, that means seven to nine hours a night. Even if you have a mental health condition, the same tricks that work for others might work for you: cutting down on caffeine, exercising (though not right before bed), going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, and not taking your phone or laptop to bed with you. Therapy and medications can also help.Appetite changesNot wanting to eat or refusing to eat entirely are the central symptoms of anorexia nervosa, a serious psychiatric disorder. Anorexia often occurs alongside other mental illnesses, including depression and anxiety disorders. Binge-eating disorder and night eating have been linked to schizophrenia.Eating less or a loss of appetite or interest in food can also be a sign of depression, anxiety, or even everyday stress. Of course, not eating enough can lead to weight loss, and, when dramatic, can be a visible indicator that something is wrong.Unusual behaviorOne of the main warning signs of a mental illness is change, Dr. Everett says. Maybe a chatty person clams up, or an introverted person becomes oddly outgoing.“Often these kinds of illnesses don’t happen one day to the next,” she explains. “They happen over time, but the time can be something as short as a couple of weeks or a month. We compare the way things are now to the person’s history.”While half of all mental illnesses appear by the age of 14, according to the American Psychiatric Association, it may be easier to identify such changes in adults, she adds. Three-quarters of mental illnesses appear by the time a person is 24.If you notice several of these warning signs in yourself or a loved one, consider bringing up the symptoms with a mental health professional.Source
A study found that having sex a certain number of times a week may help to promote slower aging in mothers.A small study suggests that having sex at least once per week can help people age better. Researchers claim that frequent sex can lengthen your telomeres, which promotes better agin and promotes better physical and mental health as you age. This was a small and short study, so more research is needed. It’s no secret that sex comes with many benefits, but a new study suggests that having sex frequently can also keep you from aging. Well, sort of.The study, conducted by the University of California in San Francisco, monitored the sexual habits of 129 mothers in relationships over one week. Researchers found that those who had sex at least once during that week had significantly longer telomeres, nucleoprotein caps at the end of DNA strands that protect chromosomes from deteriorating, than those who didn’t.Telomeres naturally break down due to aging, poor diet, and high alcohol use, according to the study. But being physically active, eating well, and, apparently, having sex, can help mend and lengthen them. Other studies suggest that these telomeres can help you live longer and keep up physical and mental health as you age. Something interesting about the study however, is that relationship satisfaction, daily support or conflict, or perceived stress had nothing to do with telmoreres length. Neither did the participants sex drive or enjoyment of sex. Obviously more research here is needed as it was such a small study done over a short period of time. But other studies have pegged once a week to be an ideal number of times to have sex with your partner as well, so it’s not a bad goal to strive for. But it’s also important to remember that you should be having sex as much as you and your partner want to be. There are a lot of things that may prolong your life that will make you a lot happier than having routine and unfulfilling sex. Source
Teenagers who use electronic cigarettes are exposed to cancer-causing chemicals found in tobacco even when the e-cigarettes don’t contain nicotine, according to a new study.Researchers at University of California San Francisco analyzed urine and saliva from 67 teens who used e-cigarettes and found they had been exposed to some of the same chemicals in tobacco that cause cancer.Under-18s are almost three times more likely to use e-cigarettes than adults, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.The so-called ‘vaping’ devices, which vaporize a liquid laced with nicotine and other flavors, have been marketed as a safer alternative to smoking – but lead author Mark Rubinstein says these results point to an increase in cancer risk from vaping.‘Teenagers need to be warned that the vapor produced by e-cigarettes is not harmless water vapor, but actually contains some of the same toxic chemicals found in smoke from traditional cigarettes,’ Dr Rubinstein, MD, a professor of pediatrics at UCSF, said.‘Teenagers should be inhaling air, not products with toxins in them.’ The study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, compared using and saliva samples from three different groups: 67 teens who used e-cigarettes, 17 teens who used e-cigarettes and traditional tobacco cigarettes and 20 teens from a control group who did not use cigarettes.The group that used e-cigarettes was found to have levels of toxic organic compounds that were three times higher than the control group.The group that used both e-cigarettes and traditional cigarettes had levels that were six times higher.Dr Rubinstein noted that some of the toxic chemicals were found in the bodies of teens who used flavored e-cigarettes without nicotine. When asked whether they used liquid with nicotine, 31 percent of participants said ‘always’, 39 percent said ‘sometimes’, 15 percent said ‘unsure’ and 15 percent said ‘never’. Source
The official recommended daily calorie intake – 2,000 for women and 2,500 for men – is a great starting point when it comes to meal planning, but it can be difficult to know exactly how many extra calories we take in during breakfast, lunch and dinner.According to Public Health England, adults in the UK are consuming over 200 to 300 calories more than they need every day, with many unsure just how many calories they should be consuming overall. To help tackle this so-called ‘calorie creep’, the organisation has launched its new ‘One You’ campaign to make it easier to manage calorie intake, particularly when eating out.The campaign has introduced a new 400-600-600 rule of thumb – that’s around 400 calories for breakfast, 600 for lunch and 600 for dinner, plus a couple of healthier snacks and drinks in-between as part of a balanced diet of 2,000 calories for women and 2,500 for men.As around a quarter of calories are consumed on-the-go, retailers including Greggs, McDonalds, Starbucks and Subway have joined the campaign to help shoppers find 400 and 600 calorie meals.‘It’s clear that excess calories are driving weight gain for many,’ Dr Alison Tedstone, chief nutritionist at PHE, said of the initiative. ‘Busy lives and too much food mean we’re often eating more food than we realise – especially when we’re grabbing food out and about. This can have a significant impact on our waistlines and our health.‘The 400-600-600 tip can help people make healthier choices when eating and drinking on the go. It’s encouraging to see major high street companies promoting lower calorie options and we hope more will follow suit.’So, what does a 400kcal meal option look like? At Boots, it includes a Louisiana Style Cajun Fritter Sandwich, a Nutritious Avocado Houmous & Veggies and a Plenish Water+ Blueberry Pear. At Greggs, it’s an Original Porridge and a Flat White. At McDonald’s, it’s an Egg and Cheese McMuffin, a white coffee and a Fruit Bag. And at Starbuck’s, Classic Oatmeal, a short Vanilla Latte and a Fruit Bag come in at 400 calories.Public Health England has made it clear that this campaign has not been designed to provide a weight loss programme and, as always, those with special dietary requirements or medical needs should seek guidance from a registered health-care professional.However, experts hope the campaign will be helpful when it comes to finding healthier food choices in shops and restaurants.‘Even with the best will in the world, it can be really tricky to stick to our healthy eating principles when we’re hungry, pushed for time and picking up food on-the-go,’ nutritionist Amanda Ursell told Cosmopolitan. ‘These days, many of the extra calories we’re consuming come from eating out of the home and it is easy to underestimate what we tuck into. This in turn can have an adverse effect on our health and on our waistlines.’According to Ursell, checking the facts before you make your meal selection is an easy way of keeping track of what you’re consuming.‘Don’t rely on instinct and guesswork when picking up food on the go, make sure you have the calorie information to hand,’ she advises. ‘Check calorie content on labels in-store when making your meal choice and look out for 400-600-600 meal options available at a range of high street stores.’Source
The concept of “clean eating” fits perfectly with the culture of perfection perpetuated by social media platforms such as Instagram. But adhering to the notion that certain foods are “clean” while others are “dirty” can lead to very damaging consequences, causing some people to develop an eating disorder known as “orthorexia”. Described as the “pathological obsession for biologically pure food”, those who suffer from orthorexia often restrict the food that they consume in a very obsessive way.“When someone is suffering from orthorexia, they are usually fixated on achieving and maintaining a perceived ‘healthy’ diet, which can be overlooked as harmful due to the ethical concerns associated with the clean eating trend,” Emmy Brunner, chief executive and founder of The Recover Clinic explained to The Independent. “This emphasis on ‘goodness’ provides a convenient and covert reason to restrict food intake, often accepted and even idolised by society.”When an individual feels that they cannot feel good about themselves without eating in a very regimented way, this could be a sign that they have developed a disordered relationship with food.Orthorexia is not currently recognised in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, so diagnosing the condition can be tricky. However, there are various behavioural patterns that a person may exhibit that could indicate that they are suffering from the disorder.RestrictionOne of the main aspects of orthorexia is a tendency to eliminate certain foods from one’s diet in the belief that they are unclean or impure.“Sufferers typically cut out entire food groups, often in the mistaken belief that they are unhealthy, that their bodies are intolerant to them or that they’re curing an ailment,” Harley Street nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert told The Independent.“This restriction deprives them of essential nutrients and vitamins.”Doing this can lead to malnutrition and put the state of a person’s overall wellbeing at risk.However, it’s not always easy to tell when a person is suffering from an eating disorder, just like with other conditions such as anorexia and bulimia. “It should be noted that you may have an eating disorder at any shape or size,” Lambert explained. “An individual of a healthy weight can also suffer from anorexia.”In some cases, a person may be more likely to develop orthorexia if they’re recovering from anorexia as they still approach food with a similar, compulsive mindset.Controlling behaviourThe restrictive nature of orthorexia doesn’t solely lie in the way in which individuals control the way they eat. This can also carry across into other areas of their life, such as the way they react when faced with the prospect of dining out.“It’s time to be concerned when someone’s life is being negatively impacted,” said Hala El-Shafie, registered dietitian and expert in the psychology of eating.“For example, if there is evidence of the person being distraught at the suggestion of eating out with friends or when they are not in control of the cooking or shopping. “If a person is spending more than three hours a day thinking about their diet and feeling guilty when they stray from self-imposed food restrictions, they’ve probably started a disordered relationship with food.”If you’ve noticed that a friend or loved one has started to display changes in their usual behaviour or personality, then it may be a wise idea to seek help from a professional.Mood swings, overuse of supplements and excessive bouts of exercise could also signal that a person is suffering from orthorexia. Relationship with foodLeading a healthy lifestyle isn’t just about ensuring that you include wholesome foods in your diet. It’s also about the way in which eating makes you feel about yourself.“There’s a strong correlation between our emotions and our relationship with food,” said Brunner. “Therefore, if someone is restricting their diet unnecessarily, this can reflect an underlying and damaged sense of self-worth.”No one should be made to feel that eating certain foods makes them a bad person. However, the term “clean eating” can insinuate just that.“Anyone or anything that demonises the simple and normal pleasures of life is dangerous,” said Brunner. “Therefore, it’s important to challenge the perception that foods are either ‘good’ or ‘bad’… most foods are neither, and it’s how we approach our relationship to food that’s key.”Sally Baker, a therapist and author, believes that the increasing popularity of eating practices such as veganism could also have a detrimental effect on a person’s relationship with food. “The problem is that veganism requires more effort to eat well and balanced than a vegetarian diet, and many young people aren’t equipped to give their eating the attention it needs,” she explained. If you are cutting foods from your diet, it’s important to consider what your reasons are for doing so.Source
In case you haven’t heard the term before, “psycholagny” means the ability to reach orgasm without any genital stimulation. Since the word itself is something you’re more likely to encounter on the GREs than in casual conversation, it translates better as a “wet dream.”While you might associate that term with people with penises having an erotic dream that leads them to orgasm, it’s not limited to this group of humans — people with vaginas have nocturnal emissions as well, and you don’t have to be a teenager for it to happen. A wet dream is a pretty good parallel to psycholagny because you don’t have to touch yourself to have an orgasm. You can just be having a sexy dream.On Reddit, you can find a pretty in-depth description of a man who practices psycholagny. After experimenting with prostate stimulation, he says, he learned to recreate his experience with his thoughts alone. This concept isn’t new to some women, though — in 2010, Lady Gaga reported that she could achieve a mental orgasm: “Sense memory is quite powerful,” she said.We know that people with vaginas can’t always orgasm during penetrative sex with people who have penises, and that’s for many reasons, including the fact that it’s not as simple as penetration = pleasure. There’s an intellectual component as well. You might be able to get off when you’re alone, genital stimulation or not, because you’re calling the shots in regard to your sexual fantasy, unencumbered by another person, what you think is supposed to happen or how you’re supposed to feel.If you want to try and learn how to think yourself into orgasm as well as expand your definition of the word, you might want to check out Barbara Carrellas’ online workshops, which help people learn the practice of “thinking off.”According to Dr. Barry Komisaruk, a researcher at Rutgers University and coauthor of The Science of Orgasm, how you think your way to orgasm is unique for everyone. “Some women use a combination of breathing exercises and fantasy, while others used their imagination and pelvic floor exercises,” he told the Daily Mail in 2010.Komisaruk’s research on women with spinal cord injuries suggests that pleasure doesn’t actually depend on the spinal cord exclusively. Three women in Komisaruk’s study had orgasms via stimulation of the vagina and cervix. In other words, there are numerous pathways to orgasm, and there’s way more going in the brain in regard to orgasm than we thought.Psycholagny, also called the “psychic orgasm,” is better and more widely known in the BDSM community, according to Kinkly. It’s employed by folks in the dominant position and is also used in play, specifically instances involving chastity. You might achieve climax via the sound of your partner’s voice or if they’re creating a scenario for you in which they’ll talk you to the point of orgasm.Of course, how psycholagny plays out in a partnership has a lot to do with communication between those involved. Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and porn-addiction counselor in Boulder, Colorado, says that it’s vital to consider the sex drive of folks if you’re going to bring psycholagny into your relationship.“Often the higher-drive spouse must learn to reign in their drive while the lower-drive spouse must learn to flame their libido more,” he explains. “Therefore, while psycholagny is easiest for the higher-sex drive spouse to execute, it’s more recommended for the lower-libido spouse because it can help them practice getting their mind engaged sexually by intentionally fantasizing to reach arousal, which can lead to deeper passion in their relationship.”Because there’s such a taboo around female masturbation (talking about it and doing it), if you can orgasm without genital touching, by yourself or with a partner, you might think something is wrong with you. People with vaginas have been told that we’re supposed to be dependent on a person with a penis for an orgasm, that it is the only acceptable way to get pleasure (see: the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte worries about getting addicted to her vibrator and not being able to enjoy sex with a man). In other words, being able to get off without touch is a pretty big coup and an excellent tool to have in your pleasure arsenal.Source
Being single isn’t as bad as so many people make it out to be. In fact, there are many perks and benefits that come with living that single life for an extended period of time.Most young adults don’t realize that most of them have actually been single for a huge bulk of their lives. Yes, a lot of people can look down on those who virtually can’t land themselves in relationships, but you should never victimize yourself in such a manner.You have to remember that just because you are single doesn’t automatically mean that you are unlovable. Just because you are single doesn’t mean that people don’t like being around you. In fact, you should remain proud of the fact that you’re single because it means that you love yourself too much to just settle for anyone who happens to express the slightest interest in you.Granted, you might have to battle some occasional bouts with loneliness every so often, but hey, even people in relationships can still feel lonely. Loneliness is not a feeling that is exclusive only to single people. And you have to remember that just because you aren’t in a relationship doesn’t entail perpetual loneliness on your part.You just might be someone who really enjoys your alone time and that’s great. You always find something that you can keep yourself busy with. You are never idle and that’s why you don’t wallow in your own singlehood. There is always something to do. You have just as exciting a life as a lot of other people in relationships would have.When you’ve been single for a while, you will gain so much wisdom and knowledge about who you are and what life has to offer you. You are going to be given the opportunity to really work on your confidence and grow into the person you’re meant to be. And when you do meet the person you’re meant to be with for the rest of your life, you won’t necessarily grow to be dependent on them – because you are already reliant on yourself. And that’s only one of the few things that you learn about yourself when you’ve been single for a while.1. You don’t have a fear of being alone.When you’ve been single for quite a while, you will no longer have to fear being alone. You’ve picked up a few skills along the way that have enabled you to fend for yourself. You can find joy, happiness, and fulfilment whether you’re in a relationship or not.2. You don’t feel the need to ask much help from other people when solving your problems.You know how to get things done on your own. You don’t get rattled whenever you are faced with a difficult task. You are so used to dealing things on your own that you don’t need to call on others to help get things done on your behalf.3. You are perfectly fine with doing things on your own.You have the confidence to just go out and have dinner or watch a movie by yourself. You don’t feel the insecurity of having to do things on your own because you are so comfortable with it already.4. You build your independence and individuality.Your sense of individuality is going to be strengthened significantly when you are single for a long time. When you get into a relationship, there will be a tendency for you to blur the things that make up who you are. But as a single person, you can really take the time to polish the things that make you unique.5. You get the chance to be selfish and no one will blame you for it.You get to go after your dreams regardless of what other people think. You get to do things that you want without having to think of how other people feel about it. You are free to be selfish and no one can say anything about it.6. You get a greater sense of who you are and what your principles are.The more time that you have to yourself, the better your understanding of who you are will be. You will be given the chance to really focus on who you are and what you’re made of when you’re single.7. You start going after the things that you want.When you are a single person, you have more time to go after the things that you want than you would in a relationship. There’s no denying that you are going to have to share a lot of your time with your partner in a relationship. Not that that’s a bad thing. It just means your time won’t entirely be your own anymore.8. You grow to discover what you’re really looking for in love.And the better that you understand who you are as a single person, you will be put in a position to discover more about what you’re really looking for in a love affair. You will know what to look for in a partner – and it will make finding love in the future so much easier.Source
As you might already know, the people of Tibet are patient, wise, and have their own unique look at all facets of human life. So, there’s a special “Tibetan view” when it comes to bringing up children. It helps them raise a self-sufficient person who will make thoughtful decisions and respect their parents.Цу discuss the 4 temporary stages of raising children, according to Tibetan wisdom.Stage 1: before the age of 5According to the Tibetan upbringing system, during this period parents should talk to the child like they are “a king or queen.” They shouldn’t prohibit anything or punish the child.At this age kids are curious, active, and they are ready to explore the world. But they haven’t had any experiences to learn from, and they can’t come to logical conclusions yet. So if they do something wrong or dangerous, you should look and act scared and try to shift their attention to something else. Emotions are the language kids understand very well in this period.If you are overprotective of your child and prohibit them from doing a lot of things, then there is a risk that you will suppress their mental acuity and teach them to follow without thinking.Stage 2: from 5 to 10 years oldDuring this period, parents should talk to their children like they are “a slave.” But being mindful to not be cruel. At this time in their life, intelligence and logical thinking are developing and the base of their future personality is forming.Now, it’s important to set different goals for your child, control how they achieve them, and teach your child to be ready for consequences that are caused by not achieving their goals. So, a child should start to learn to be responsible for their actions. Don’t be afraid of giving your child a lot of tasks during this period, they can handle it and are ready to learn.If you don’t switch from “king” to “slave” during this period, they will grow up childish and unable to be responsible for their own actions.Stage 3: from 10 to 15 years oldFrom age 10 to 15, it’s important to talk to the child as if you are equal. You know that you have more life experience and knowledge, but the child must be able to tell you what they think and and share their own opinions.Help them with this: ask them for advice and encourage independence. It’s important to give advice, not orders or prohibitions, because this is the age when the independence of thinking is formed.If you prohibit a lot of things, you will worsen your relationship and your child might put themselves in a dangerous situation. And if you are overprotective, they will grow up insecure and dependent on someone else’s opinion.Stage 4: from age 15 and olderBy this time, the personality of the child is fully formed. Now it’s important to be respectful. You can give advice, but it’s too late to teach. And you will see the results of your actions: the child is independent, self-sufficient, and they respect their parents and everyone else.Source
There are seven important signs that your soulmate will be your entering your life soon that you should be paying attention to.Have you wondered whether or not you’ll ever meet “the one?” Well, there are seven signs that you might be meeting the person of your dreams very soon. People may not realize it but there are many clues that you might be getting ready to meet that special someone and fall in love. It may not always be obvious, but if you can look out for these seven crucial signs you can easily find out if you’re about to meet the one. Your soulmate is important and finding them can be pure bliss. Are you exhibiting the seven signs that mean you’ll be meeting your soulmate soon?#1 You understand the mistakes you made in your past relationships.The road to meeting your one true love is paved with past relationships and the lessons they’ve taught you. Every relationship you have teaches you something new about yourself and about how other people and relationships work in general. If you’ve taken those lessons to heart and really remember the mistakes you’ve made in the past you can avoid making them again. We learn from our mistakes and we also learn from our relationships. These lessons are priceless and they’re what allows us to grow emotionally. With all of that knowledge under your belt your next relationship is bound to be even better.#2 You feel energetic and full of life.It is important to be in a positive frame of mind, especially if we are looking for a soulmate. That energy that seems to come from nowhere is your confidence and passion pushing through to the service. We are much likelier to find our soulmate and attract their attention when we have this natural energy that comes from within. This extra energy is also a part of your motivation and desire to find someone to love. When you are about to find someone special you will have an unexplained zest for life and that special someone is going to notice it.#3 You feel more open-minded and adventurous than normal.You are constantly searching for something new and exciting lately. New opportunities excite you and you are open to taking risks you wouldn’t have taken before. When you are this open to new and exciting experiences it leaves the door open for someone special to enter your life. If you’re not open to new things how can you be open to new people? Your soulmate will immediately be attracted to your confidence, open mind, and adventurous spirit. The more willing you are to get out of your comfort zone the more likely you will be to find someone special that you may not have found before.#4 You realize what you want from your partner.When you were growing up it was all about the shallow requirements you had for a mate. You wanted someone tall, someone blonde, someone brunette or red-headed. Maybe you desired someone with certain physical assets or maybe you wanted somebody who was super smart. However, you’ve grown up now and you know what is really important in life. You have an idea of what you want from your partner but it isn’t the usual shallow wish-list of physical traits or other benchmarks. Now, you know how you want to be treated. Instead of knowing what your ideal partner looks like you now know what your ideal soulmate’s heart looks like. You are looking for a soulmate that can match your energy, personality, and attitude.#5 You’re having dreams about love.Your dreams are an important window into your subconscious. When you start having dreams about meeting someone or having dreams about being with someone you could be close to finding your soulmate. This subconscious clue is a sign that you have been thinking about finding a soulmate in the back of your mind. When you are subconsciously looking for your soulmate like this you are opening yourself up spiritually and emotionally to accepting your soulmate into your life.#6 You have been working on bettering yourself.Lately you have been trying to develop yourself and be the best you that you can possibly be. When you are working so hard to improve yourself people will really take notice and they will admire your ability to persevere and change your life. Your soulmate will also notice how well you take care of yourself and it will be a big part of the reason they are attracted to you. Someone who takes care of themselves seems more stable and more balance making you more attractive to your potential soulmate.#7 You see romance everywhere you look.It’s not Valentine’s Day but somehow everywhere you turn there is love in the air. You go on your Facebook page and all you see are your friends getting engaged, married, and having children. It makes you happy to see your friends and family finding love and settling down and it makes you want it too. The truth is that there might not be more romance in the air than usual – you are just paying more attention to it. This is a sign that you are ready to meet your soulmate and your inclination to look positively at romantic things makes you more receptive to finding that special someone.Source
Actions speak louder than words, of course, but we can’t diminish the weight that some words may carry. If you’re involved in a new relationship or are still on the dating scene, heed these five phrases your potential life partner should never utter.“Stop being so dramatic”If he makes a big deal about you making a “big deal” out of everything, kick him to the curb. Someone who values you should be a bit more receptive to your needs and concerns, and try to alleviate them in any way he can. Automatically dismissing what you say or not taking your opinions seriously is a red flag that is sure to cause turbulence in your relationship.“You always/never…”These are fighting words that are sure to spark the heat in any argument. It puts the blame entirely on you while they take no responsibility for any conflicts. Not only is it hurtful (and most likely untrue) but it doesn’t encourage you to evaluate your behavior or try to see things from their perspective. In fact, it will almost always put you on the defensive. Even if it’s an exaggeration, it shouldn’t be used. Period.“If you loved me, you would…”This phrase more or less indicates bribery, which could very well snowball into manipulation if it hasn’t already. No partner should ever make you feel guilty about anything, let alone use love as a weapon to do so. If they have concerns about the relationship, it’s important to simply communicate them (not pin them on you).“You’re just like/nothing like my ex”Although there are rare moments where we may compare our exes to our current partners, it should never be something we express with the other. That’s not to say that they should hide their feelings, but some things are better left unsaid. No good will ever come from voicing these comparisons – even if it’s a benign one. Either scenario may indicate that your partner may still have lingering thoughts about their former partners, showing that they haven’t fully gained closure or moved on from that relationship.“Shut up”We all say things we don’t mean sometimes in the heat of the moment, but this is just plain rude and condescending. Any partner who is quick to say these words is not someone you want to keep around. It’s a clear message that they don’t want to hear what you have to say, or that your thoughts don’t matter to them. A good partner should open you up not shut you out.
During the honeymoon stage of a relationship, all you want to do is hang out with your partner – all the time. You sleep together, you eat together, and you go everywhere together. But once you start to get comfortable, things can change. Even when you have a significant other such as a spouse or life partner, you can be alone without doing everything together.Some people may feel bad if they enjoy an activity without their partner around. You can be assured that there are plenty of things that you can (and even should) do without your partner. What is more, you don’t have to feel bad about it! Here are some of the things you can do without your partner (that you should never feel guilty about).HERE ARE 5 THINGS TO NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT DOING ALONE IN A RELATIONSHIP“Being alone and actually sitting with our own thoughts can lead to such growth and realizations that are rare in our everyday busy lives.” – Kourtney Kardashian1. SLEEP ALONEMany people get defensive over the idea of sleeping without their partner by their side. But sometimes, two people just aren’t compatible when it comes to sleeping arrangements. Some people toss and turn, while others tend to be blanket hogs or they “starfish” across the bed. If you’re not getting enough sleep at night, you shouldn’t feel bad about sleeping alone. Having a guest room is perfect for sneaking away to have the bed to yourself. After all, getting enough sleep is important for an overall healthy body, so you should never feel bad about putting your health first.2. WATCH A MOVIEFor some people, watching a movie is a couple’s activity. The truth is, there’s no reason you should deny yourself the joy of going out to see a movie just because your partner doesn’t want to go. It’s a good idea to have some alone time when you need it, even when you have a partner or spouse. Going out to a movie alone isn’t that big of a deal. Maybe you and your partner have different tastes in movies and can’t decide on what to see. That’s okay! It’s totally normal to go see a movie by yourself.3. EXERCISEAre you a fan of your partner seeing you at your lowest and sweatiest? Didn’t think so. Exercising isn’t a lot of fun for most people. Performing this strenuous activity alongside your partner can just be awkward, or downright uncomfortable. It’s okay if you’re more of a jog-alone kind of person. Or maybe you like to use your exercise time to zone out and let your thoughts go. Some people feel about exercise the way they feel about meditation: it is a one-person activity. There’s no reason to feel bad about hitting the gym on your own or jogging around the block without your partner. Exercising alone is something everyone can do without their partner and shouldn’t feel bad about it.4. GO OUT WITH FRIENDSDallan Flake, a sociologist at BYU, believes that it’s extremely important for people in relationships to have friends outside of the partnership. In fact, Flake even says that it is unrealistic to expect your partner to be able to be “everything” that you needed. Friendship is an important part of relationships. Going out with your friends – even without your partner – gives you both a needed break and gives you varied socialization that will be sure to keep you happy. You should never feel bad about going out with your friends – in fact, it’s highly encouraged!5. TRAVELNeed a vacation? Maybe you want to visit friends or family that live a few states over. Traveling by yourself is something that many partnered people tend not to do. After all, isn’t traveling with your partner twice the fun? Sure, taking vacations together can be a great way to spark the romance, but traveling alone has its benefits too. It’s okay to plan a weekend getaway alone every now and again. Everyone needs time on their own, and traveling is one of the great ways to get that necessary time. Don’t feel bad about planning a trip away from your partner. You’ll both enjoy the time alone. What is more, you will both be excited to see each other at the end of the trip.FINAL THOUGHTSDoing things alone is a great way to keep your independence, establish your boundaries, and keep a relationship from becoming stagnant. Of course, you and your partner likely enjoy doing many things together. And that’s great! At the same time, there are many things that can be done alone. No one should have to feel bad about seeking out some alone time away from their partner.Source
There are a lot of ways you can handle your relationship but strong women do these seven things differently than everyone else.Whether you are a strong woman or aspire to be one, there are seven ways that strong women handle relationships differently. These seven differences between strong women and everyone else are what separates the weak from the strong. Whether you are curious you might have these seven qualities or you aspire to be strong and display these qualities, this simple list can be very helpful.There are seven different ways that strong women deal with relationships, stress, and anything else that might get thrown their way.1) They keep things in perspective.Women who are strong and secure don’t tend to make mountains out of mole-hills as the saying goes. Strong women know that they can only control so much and that they shouldn’t be distracted by every setback. The strong women is able to keep things in perspective, she picks her battles in a relationship and she knows what is important to her. Without the distractions of petty problems in the way, a strong woman is able to identify her priorities and achieve them. Psychology Today says that mentally strong people don’t let minor inconveniences ruin their day and that they keep their problems in proper perspective. LifeHack says that emotionally strong people don’t overreact to things beyond their control.2) They know how to say “No.”Strong-willed people aren’t doormats or people-pleasers. A strong woman knows how to say know and set boundaries in their relationships. LifeHack suggests that strong-willed people shouldn’t have a problem saying no and goes on to say that they should never do anything they don’t want to do. Don’t give in to pressure from your peers or partner, be strong instead.3) They spend some time alone.Many people think they should spend all their time with their partner or friends. However, this is false. Spending some time alone can be an important part of a self-care routine and is essential if you want to maintain your mental and emotional strength. Psychology Today writes that mentally strong people balance their social life with solitude by making sure they get time to themselves.4) They maintain a positive outlook.Strong women will never lose their hope. Even when times are tough, mentally strong people will be able to find the silver linings in it all according to Psychology Today. LifeHack says that emotionally strong people always believe in themselves and don’t allow others to bring them down. This is the case with a strong woman too. A strong woman always recognizes the good things going on instead of focusing solely on the negative.5) They don’t hold back their love.A strong woman isn’t afraid to show that they’re in love. LifeHack says that emotionally strong people aren’t afraid to be in love. A strong woman isn’t afraid to be in love either and they aren’t afraid to show it most of the time. A woman who is strong won’t hold back their love because it’s too powerful and it needs to be shared with their partner.6) They won’t wait around for nothing.Strong women know what they want, they don’t hide when they’re in love, and they won’t hesitate to leave you in the dust if you can’t provide them with what they need in life. Strong women know when a relationship does and doesn’t work. A strong woman is also a passionate woman and if their partner can’t match that passion they may end up running. Strong women don’t like negativity and they don’t do well with indecision either.7) They understand the impact of their actions and decisions.A strong woman always acknowledges their own choices. According to Psychology Today, emotionally strong people always accept responsibility for their behavior and this extends to things they might’ve done wrong in their relationship. A strong willed and passionate woman will always gladly take ownership of their actions.Source